Hi Karate

I snagged my pinky on Justin's tshirt sleeve the other day, and it really hurt! Justin looked at me and said "good thing this isn't my Bruce Lee shirt....it probably would have ripped your whole arm off".

Identity Crisis

Josh: mom, where are my financial records?
Me; you're 10, you don't have any financial records.
Josh: well....what are financial records?
Me: (explained what that is) why do you want to know that?
Josh: because the guy on tv said I should guard my financial records so nobody steals my identity!
Me: Josh....nobody is going to steal your identity.
Josh: Good- because that's creepy!  

It's 100% cotton!

After hearing a lot of banging and thumping that can only be described as "ruckus" in Josh and Caleb's room, Josh came out and I said "what are you all doing in there? You're supposed to be cleaning your room. Are you doing that, or are you beating holes in the walls? Because it sounds like you're beating holes in the walls."

Josh: No mom, we're not doing that. We're just throwing a football around in there and stuff. But it's not a big real football- it's a tiny little soft one full of cotton!

Me: You're sure it's cotton? You tested the fibers to see if they're cotton and not a blend?

Josh: It's cotton, mom. Caleb threw it at me and it hit me in the crotch and it didn't even hurt!


Science- meet your new test dummies.

The Birthday List

This is the week of birthdays in our house- we have three in 4 days! Josh K., Caleb and Zach. I was going into the store with Josh the other day, and I said "do how old are you going to be? 41, right?" he said "mom, I'm going to be 10, you already know that! Besides, if I was 41 my birthday list would have had cooler stuff on it. Like a gun, a truck, and a big tv." At least he's planning:)

The Monkees

Justin: Josh, you're an idiot. I think the monkey that plays the cymbals in your head ran away.

Hahahaaaa!!!! I love my kids:)

Snakes Alive...

Today I went to pick up Joshy at school. After a stint of being homeschooled he decided he'd like to go back, so he goes for a half day and we finish working at home. When I went to the door, he was waiting there with the principal and when she opened the door there had been a little garter snake hiding under the edge of the weather strip on the bottom, and he fell out when she opened the door. Well...she let out a scream that would wake the dead and I can't be sure, but out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw a trickle of pee running down her leg from under her skirt. Josh was behind her and couldn't reach it, so he yells "get him, mom!" so...what could I do? She was panicked and it looked like it was heading into the building....so as casually as I could (with all the kids filing by from lunch recess) reached down and picked it up. Naturally it decided to be dramatic and flail around and try to bite me, which made her squeal even more- so I took it over to the grass and got rid of it as quick as I could. But-too late....we had an audience of about 25 fourth graders watching. Guess who the cool mom is now? :)

On the way home I found out that Caleb and Josh have a plan. After they eat lunch and go outside, they line their lunchboxes up by the building. We have a small rural school that has a lot of trees around. Their plan is to "catch things" at lunch recess, sneak them into their lunchboxes and bring them home. I highly discouraged this...after what I saw this morning I can't even imagine what would happen if their "pets" got out in the classroom...not to mention driving home unknowingly hauling a mini zoo in the back seat. I don't mind most critters, but I certainly do not want a snake slithering up my gas pedal leg.

Keep It To Yourself.

Last night Joshy and Caleb were telling Hubs how they'd "manned up" and moved a bunch of firewood to a dry location because it was wet (read: we threw it down the hill). Hubs said "wow...that was manly. Have you got any hair on your chest yet?" to which Joshy replies "nope; but I have armpit hairs coming in- I can feel it with my tongue when I lick my armpits!" and since he had no shirt on, put his arm in the air and....licked his armpit. After Hubs and I recovered from the shock of seeing him do this, he says " oh that's nothing, I can put my tongue between my toes too!"


Oh God. Please make it stop.